An Exploration of a Woman’s Decision
to Remain Child-Free by Choice

Welcome to Letters to Our Unborn Children — a collaborative visual arts project led by Tennessee-based artists Sarah Saturday and Tarri Driver. Our “Letters” project began in January 2024 as a research-based visual arts project and private video chat group community* of child-free women.

Through an anonymous survey open from January — March 2024, we asked child-free women to answer the question:

If you had the chance to explain your choice not to have children to the potential children you decided not to have, what would you say to them?

Using direct quotes from the anonymous surveys, we created 12 large paintings featuring “letters” written by archetypal “mothers.” This collection is now available for exhibition.

Flip through our digital project infobook:

*The private chat group community is hosted on the Marco Polo app and is open to anyone who identifies as a woman who is child-free by choice. It is completely free and moderated by Tarri and Sarah. Sign up below!

SURVEY 2.0

Back by popular demand! We have reopened the anonymous survey with updated questions, and it is now open to anyone who identifies as child-free by choice.

  • It is not because I don’t love you that you are not here, it’s that I love both of us enough to choose not to be your mother.

    from the “Mother Martyr” letter

  • You deserve more than the shell of a person to be your mother, and I deserved more than the shell of a person to be mine.

    from the “Mother Healer” letter

  • I don’t buy into the idea that having children is the sole or most important way to have a meaningful life.

    from the “Mother Seeker” letter

  • You helped me find myself, and I am so grateful for it.

    from the “Mother Voyager” letter

  • Reparenting my inner child is the work I’m meant to do in this lifetime.

    from the “Inner Mother” letter

  • I love you so much, and that’s exactly why I spared you from this world.

    from the “Mother Protector” letter

  • You’re welcome.

    from the “Mother Jester” letter

  • The future is uninhabitable, and it feels cruel to me to bring someone into it.

    from the “Mother Steward” letter

  • I am devoting my time, energy, and money to improving the lives of people who already exist on this planet.

    from the “Mother Nurturer” letter

  • I believe children should be brought into this world by people who truly want them.

    from the “Mother Strategist” letter

  • Whatever impact I may leave on others in this life is currently due to your not being born, and that is quite an incredible thing.

    from the “Mother Sage” letter

  • I would protect you and love you and give you the world, but I wouldn’t be happy, and I think you would know.

    from the “Mother Realist” letter

Make a donation

Support the Letters project as we continue to grow and expand through exhibitions, podcasts, publications, and more. Anyone who donates $25 or more will receive a print of your favorite Letter from the final collection when it’s completed in 2025!

The “Letters” Podcast

We created a miniseries podcast to accompany this project, featuring interviews with women from the private chat group as well as other child-free women who have inspired us in our research.

The Paintings

We hosted a preview pop-up show at Coop Gallery in Nashville, TN, in October 2024. Six of the total twelve paintings were on display, and a panel was held to talk more about the project and its themes, research, and participants.

Photos by Danielle Shields

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What People Are Saying About the Letters Project

  • "I think this is a really beautiful project, and I think it will create a lot of healing for a lot of people. Thank you for taking it on."

  • "This was rather therapeutic. Thank you for doing this."

  • "Thank you for exploring this work! Holy moly, it's so important and really does make me feel like I'm not alone and a part of a community."

  • "I found the exercise very cathartic. Thank you for that gift!"

  • "Little girls need to realize now more than ever that having a child isn’t the only path."

  • "Thanks for offering a place for these meditations and for the work towards illuminating this experience."

  • "That was a lot of processing and tears. Thank you."